


Touch Starved

by yankeetooter



Category: Chernobyl (TV 2019)
Genre: M/M, Touch-Starved, Touching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2020-12-24 11:51:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21099014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yankeetooter/pseuds/yankeetooter
Summary: All his life Valery has craved touch.





	Touch Starved

It started in the helicopter. Granted, the man who touched him had recently threatened to throw him off said helicopter, not to mention almost killing all of them by insisting they fly directly over the exposed core at the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant. But all the same...

When the pilot made the wise decision not to follow Shcherbina's order and banked the helicopter, Valery, clumsy as always, tumbled into the Deputy Chairman. Given their recent exchange, Valery cringed at the expected reaction, but instead strong hands steadied him and guided him to his seat gently.

Shcherbina sat looking disgruntled at the whole incident, pretty much ignoring Valery, who was glad to escape notice. He was blushing from the contact, from the feel of those strong hands holding him. He struggled not to imagine other touches from those hands...

**********

For Valery, it was so much more than physical attraction. No, his whole life he had craved touch. His parents hadn't been affectionate, never hugged him, never patted him on the back, never even tousled his hair. Valery hadn't even realized how badly he needed to be touched until that one time. It was a fellow student at university, one who had similar tastes to Valery. That guy had done stuff to Valery that still made him blush. He had taught Valery what it was like to be with another man.

But he had also fulfilled another need in Valery, that of affection. Simple affection. Unfortunately, the young man had been discovered with another student and sent off in disgrace. Valery had never seen or heard from him again. And now he was left with a yearning for affection that he could not satisfy.

So when those big strong hands caught him and nudged him back to his seat, it awoke things in Valery that he'd thought suppressed.

***********

After Pikalov went off to get the dosimeter reading near reactor 4, the others headed to a nearby tent to await his return. Valery stumbled, but was caught by a steadying grip on his arm. Shcherbina, once again. Valery could barely focus on the problem at hand. This wasn't good.

____

"Don't worry about what you know nothing about! Focus on the fire!"

"I am focusing on the fire! Look..." Valery pointed at the smoke plume rising from Reactor 4. Then...oh no! Boris leaned into him, trying to look where he indicated. Valery stuttered through the rest of what he was trying to say. He could just feel Shcherbina's chest muscles from where he was standing up against Valery. Oh dear! 

The rest of the night was a blur. Five thousand tons of sand and boron, a drink at the hotel. Valery made it to his room somehow, falling asleep to the thought of Boris touching him with those hands.

____

"And we'll be dead in five years!". As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Valery regretted them. And the look on Shcherbina's face! He moved forward, apologizing, wanting so badly to comfort him, to touch his arm, something. No, Shcherbina wouldn't want that. And years of suppressed desires had made Valery uncomfortable with initiating contact. He stepped back again.

Boris sat stunned, even as the phone rang. When the call was finished, he got up and came over to the window where Valery stood. He told Valery about how the news had leaked, leaning into him for support. Valery took a deep breath and leaned back into Boris.

____

Boris sat in the chair facing Valery as he leaned over the maps. He was definitely not okay. Valery would have given anything to have the courage to approach him. Maybe to massage his shoulders in an attempt to comfort him? He quickly clamped down on his thoughts when the woman entered with Pikalov. But later, he found himself wondering what would have happened if he had?

______

The divers emerged from the building! They had done it! Boris and Valery exited the car and walked over, Boris clapping in acknowledgement of their success. Valery nodded, trying to hold back tears. He glanced at Boris, wanting to share this moment more intimately with him. He started to reach out to take Boris'hand, his arm, his shoulder, anything! He needed to touch him, needed to feel his touch. But no, not here. He clasped his hand in his other hand, trying to stifle his impulse.

______

Valery leaned over the table, his ample ass presented invitingly to Boris. Come on Boris, a friendly slap, anything! But then the argument started...

"You should watch your tone, Legasov!"

Ouch! What had he done?

______

Gorbachev hung up on Valery abruptly. Boris, in reaching over to replace the handset, brushed Valery's hand with his pinkie finger. "I think we should take a walk."

"It's late, and I'm tired." No, that had come out all wrong. But he didn't want to leave that room where he had Boris all to himself. 

"We're taking a walk."

______

"Our rooms, the trailer, even our bathrooms are bugged." Valery grimaced. "But Valera, there's no cameras."

______

Valera? He had called him Valera? Truly, Boris' voice was another form of touch. That raspy voice traveled down his spine every time Boris spoke to him. It was like a lover's caress. And when he called him Valera? It was even better.

______

Glukov left the trailer. "Are they all like that?" Valery asked shakily.

"Yes, they're all like that." Boris responded.

Seeing Valery still shaken from the experience, Boris got up and walked over. "You did just fine, Valera!"

Valery froze. Boris stood very close to him. He stopped breathing momentarily.

Boris sensed Valery's discomfort but thought he was still worried about the conversation with Glukov. He put his hands on Valery's shoulders, rubbing at his tense muscles. "Really, Valera, you were great!"

Valery slumped, melting into Boris' touch. His hands felt so good! 

_Oh, don't stop, please. Boris, don't stop!_

But then the moment was over, Boris clapping him on the shoulder goodnaturedly. "Let's get a drink, Valera!"

______

Charkov walked off. Boris grabbed Valery's arm, practically dragging him in the opposite direction. Valery put up a token resistance, but was suddenly focused on Boris' forcefulness. Boris grabbing him, Boris in control.

______

The lunar rover worked! Yes!

"Valery, what's that? A smile?". Then, Boris' hands cupping his face, coaxing a full grin from him. Boris' arms engulfing him in a bear hug. Oh, bliss! Don't let go, Boris! Don't ever let go!

_______

Ulana left the building, leaving the two standing there. Valery leaned against the wall, his head hung low. If he told the truth, as he knew he must, he'd be shot for sure. How could he face this choice?

Then Boris was there, standing so close they were almost touching. Valery needed him. He leaned his head on Boris' chest, breathing in his scent. His hands resting on Boris' waist, Valery buried his face in Boris' embrace, sobbing with desire.

"Hush, Valera. It's okay! I've been waiting for you to feel okay with this. I couldn't be sure. You always acted so skittish."

Boris' lips collided with his, kissing him over and over. Valery's hands reached for Boris' shirt, unbuttoning buttons.

"No, Valera, not here. Later, in our room. But we'll have to be quiet."

Valery nodded, sagging against the wall as Boris' lips continued to do all sorts of things to him. He was crying with joy. To be touched like this was almost too much to bear!

________

He cried later too. Boris noticed and peered at him concernedly. "Valera? Did I hurt you?"

"No, Borja! I've been so desperate for your touch. You have no idea!". Boris nodded in understanding, holding Valery while he sobbed out years of frustration, of wanting what he couldn't have. 

"Let it out, Valera. I'm here."

_______

Sitting on the bench with Boris. This was it then. Valery knew what he had to do, knew what the consequences would be if not the specifics. And Boris was dying!

Boris was telling him how much he had meant, patting him on the back. 

"...for God's sake Boris, you were the one who mattered most!". Valery didn't care anymore. He pulled Boris into one final embrace, trying to commit to memory the feel of those arms around him. Remembering bare skin on skin, intimacies forbidden by their government. All of it was going away.

_____

Valery looked out the car window, seeing Boris one last time. Never again to feel his touch...


End file.
